While my daughter, Kate, looks forward to the celebration of her 5th wedding anniversary, her sister, Nicole, is actively making decisions that will set the tone and style of her own wedding day.
One similarity between the girls became apparent from the start. Both Kate and Nicole agree that if they are to have only one pre-wedding event they would favor an engagement party with family and friends and their guy by their side; being the center of attention at a bridal shower positioned a distant second choice.
We have set the date for Nicole’s fall engagement party and my preparation is underway.
Nicole has often expressed her desire to be married at home with the family vineyard as a backdrop. I would love to grant her that dream…but I am not that strong. I would worry about the unpredictable New England weather for the entire year of her engagement. She knows me well and she understands. I am, however, delighted to be hosting her engagement party in our home confident I can accommodate the numbers should the weather not co-operate.
Nicole has learned that I am a firm believer in making the guest list priority number one when planning a wedding. With our list of wedding guests already established (although not set in stone) we have a foundation to begin working on the guest list for her engagement party.
Life gets busier and busier and family and friends seem to be scattered about. Attempting to identify invited guests who will definitely attend any function is nearly impossible. I agree with Nicole when she says, “The most frustrating part about planning a wedding is not knowing who will attend until three weeks before the event.” She was referring to the return of the response cards sent out with the wedding invitations. But the same can be said for all planned events.
With the couples guest list in hand, I am now prepared to move forward with designing a theme for the party and choosing food options. Creating a theme is what I love to do…the food…not so much. While I pull some ideas together I will leave you with a few tips to help you plan your daughter’s engagement party.
- Traditionally engagement parties are hosted by the bride’s parents. However, this does not mean that others cannot offer to host the event.
- Engagement parties are an ideal way for guests to meet the family and friends of the bride and groom before the wedding, adding to the enjoyment of the wedding day itself.
- If you are hosting the party, be sure to consult with the bride and groom. You don’t want to be planning a large affair, when their preference would be something simple and intimate.
- When making your guest list, do not forget to count the “guest” of a guest. This can impact your final number when not included from the beginning.
- To gift…or not to gift. Although etiquette states that an engagement party is not a gift giving event, I find that guests do tend to arrive with a celebratory item for the newly engaged; a gift certificate to a favorite restaurant, a bottle of wine, or personalized champagne glasses for their wedding day. I would not include gift registry information on the invitation.
- The blending of family and friends is an excellent way to honor the couple. But be considerate. Only invite guests who you know will receive an invitation to the wedding.
BTW…Kate was given a bridal shower by her husband’s family. It was held on a spectacular spring day and everyone enjoyed the party …especially Kate! I suspect Nicole will experience the same joy should she find herself one day being the center of attention.
I sure hope this uninvited guest does not show up!
Happy Planning
Marisa Baratelli