“I can’t marry Herbie, Mom,” a daughter said.

“He’s an atheist and doesn’t believe in hell.”

Her mother replied, “You marry him, and we’ll show him!”

If this doesn’t make you laugh! I found this cute quip in the book Life after ‘I Do!’ by Rachel Egan.

It’s normal to get so caught up in the details and emotions of wedding planning, that we forget to stop and think about the purpose of the activity. I’d love to see a show of hands from Mothers of the Bride who experienced genuine discussions with their daughters about the expectations and realities of marriage.

I’d like to share my thoughts on wedding planning and marriage with an excerpt from Not My Mother’s Wedding.

A Marriage:

I love walking into the TV room when Katie and Dan are home visiting and finding them cuddled on the sofa fast asleep…Katie with her face nuzzled tight into Dan’s shoulder and Dan with his face resting on Katie’s hair.

I wonder what the future holds for the two of them. Will their marriage survive the trial and error required to get it right? Will their love and dedication outweigh their blunders and missteps? Will they have patience with each other along the way?

I am concerned that we may have painted too rosy a picture of marriage for the children; disappointments always kept private, problems worked out behind closed doors. I worry we may have set misleading expectations.

We were raised by a generation that held themselves and their children to a very high standard. We now know that to be happy in life, you must first be happy with who you are. How we discover that person will be different for every one of us. I pray that Katie and Dan accept and cherish their differences.

I watch them struggle with launching new careers, nurturing this new committed relationship, planning a wedding and balancing what time remains between family and friends. I like what I see.

If I were to find a genie in a bottle, my first wish would be to be taken back to the dance floor in Newport where I was on cloud nine from the satisfaction of a job well done, the pride I held in my heart for my daughter and her new husband, and the thrill of dancing once again with family and friends.