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The Three C’s of Wedding Planning: Consultation, Conversation & Communication

June 24, 2011 By Maureen Chapdelaine 1 Comment

 

Do you remember buying a special gift for your daughter when she was little?  A gift you thought would send her over the top with excitement?  I do.  Nicole was in kindergarten.  She would bounce off the big yellow bus at 11:30 in the morning and instantly transform herself into Stephanie the teacher. She would climb the staircase to her room, gather her baby dolls together and class would be called to order.  For her birthday that year I found what I thought would make the perfect addition to Nicole’s classroom.  It was a baby doll, so soft and life like.  I couldn’t wait for Nicole’s birthday to arrive.

She hated the doll.  She didn’t simply ignore the toy.  There was something about that gift that bothered her. 

Lesson learned. 

You know your daughter’s personality best, but I suggest  while she is engaged that surprises and assumptions  be held to a minimum and replaced with the Three C’s of Wedding Planning; Consult, Conversation and Communication.

Consultation:  Our daughters have bridal information at their fingertips and are aware of wedding trends long before they become engage.   Most brides begin wedding planning with preferences already determined.  Be sure to consult with your bride every step along the way; encourage her friends and future in-laws to do the same. Before rushing into plans for that blow out engagement party, talk to your bride.  She may be more interested in a small get together at home.   From experience I have learned that no decision has to be made so quickly that there isn’t time to consult with my bride and that surprises can often backfire.

Conversation:  You and your daughter are organizing a significant event together.  Although a wonderful mother-daughter experience, wedding planning also requires you to act as co-workers.  When making decisions acknowledge that all options need to be evaluated to arrive at the best result.  Attempt to keep emotion to a minimum while discussing solutions to situations that may occur.

Communication:  Keeping the line of communication open is so important.  It can avoid duplication of work and prevent misunderstandings.  (Isn’t email the greatest?)   And don’t forget the groom’s family. Advice from experienced Mothers of the Groom is to keep the groom’s family up to date with plans best you can.  It makes for a more enjoyable event when they are not dealing with uncertainty.

Happy Planning

Reprint from Perfect Wedding Guide ~ Mother of the Bride Mondays

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Reflections From My Bride ~ Setting the Date

May 24, 2011 By Maureen Chapdelaine Leave a Comment

The best part about wedding planning so far is having a mom and sister who have already gone through the process!  Being involved in my sister’s wedding and also hearing stories from the MOB Blog have proven to be invaluable in the initial months of planning.  And to follow from my previous writing, I was definitely excited to start with the planning right away!

Although I have to admit, as excited as I was to start planning, I had barely gotten use to the idea of being engaged, and before I realized it, I was head first into planning. Things began to seem a little crazy.  It didn’t help that once we found the reception venue we loved, we only had 48 hours to make a decision; something Nick and I were not even close to being prepared to do. We had just had our ‘initial planning conversation’ the night before and the wine buzz probably hadn’t worn off yet!  A casual weekend of looking at wedding venues suddenly turned serious. 

But in the end, once we committed to the venue, things quickly fell into place. I give most of the credit for even knowing what the next steps were to my mom and sister. 

So although I felt a little overwhelmed (as I am sure Nick did too) before I knew it we had the venue, church, hotel rooms blocks, and a few other key details ironed out.  The casual weekend of looking at venues really paid off because if we had waited any longer, the site we love would not have been available.  And even better, I now am sitting back and relaxing, enjoying my engagement and loving the fact that I now have a date to share with others.  Girls look forward to their wedding day their whole lives and it really is a pretty incredible feeling to put a date to that childhood dream.

So MOB’s, as much as you may want to sit back and enjoy the engagement for a while, sometimes giving your bride that extra push to get the big planning items out of the way really does pay off in the long run!

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Reflections From My Bride ~ My Sister’s Footsteps

April 25, 2011 By Maureen Chapdelaine 2 Comments

My Bride ~  Nicole, is planning a 2012 summer wedding and will be sharing her thoughts along the way.

I have to admit I was a little worried about wedding planning.  After all, my mom literally wrote the book about planning weddings and my sister had had (in my opinion) the most perfect wedding imaginable; there wasn’t even a single cloud in the sky.  So when Nick proposed and I began researching wedding venues and thinking about my own wedding, I really wanted to find something different, something that Nick and I could call our own.

Who was I kidding? From before I can even remember, I have been copying my sister.  And like I said before, having loved everything about her wedding, why would I want to do something different just to be “different”?

This became very apparent when Nick, my parents and I spent a casual weekend looking at wedding venues.   Of course I fell in love with the one in the same town my sister got married in and that closely resembled her reception site (luckily Nick fell in love with it too).  But I spent the rest of the day at the other venues trying to force myself to fall in love with them because they were different.  As a result, I was finding it hard to be happy about the one I did love.

Luckily my parents talked some sense into me!  They made me realize that instead of fighting to be different, I should be thrilled that I found something Nick and I both love.  And knowing how similar my sister and I are, it really only makes sense that I would follow in her wonderful wedding planning footsteps and pick something similar. 

So to all he mother’s of the brides, remind your daughters’ to stay as true to themselves as possible!  And remind them of who they are when necessary.  In the end, it’s the only way to be happy about the big day you are planning.  I am so grateful mine did because now I have the perfect wedding site to start creating my own wedding.  And although I know it will be very similar to my sister’s, which I have now embraced and can’t be happier about, I also know that Nick and I will bring our own personalities and uniqueness to our special day.

Thanks Mom and Dad!

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Wonderful News ~ Nicole is Engaged!

April 4, 2011 By Maureen Chapdelaine 12 Comments

I have wonderful news.  Our youngest daughter is getting married!  Nicole was vacationing with Nick’s family in Islamorada, FL when Nick suggested a side trip, just the two of them, to Key West.   That evening, Nick proposed with three dozen red roses and on bended knee. 

Nick will be our second son-in-law, and as such, he began this process with high standards already established.  Kate’s husband, Dan, had made it clear to Nick that the first proposal had to be made to Nicole’s Dad.  There are days that will always be remembered, and the day Nick arrived at our home to join us for lunch and ask for permission to marry Nicole is one of them.  He did a great job!

I love the romantic and traditional beginning of Nick and Nicole’s life together.   Life is changing at such a rapid pace.  It is a comfort to know that they view their marriage as the loving commitment it is meant to be.  We just couldn’t be happier.

We are joining Nick and Nicole this weekend to begin looking at wedding reception venues.  “We are going to have fun and start educating ourselves on what’s available,” I tell Nicole trying to set realistic expectations.   We always enjoy our time together.  However, I know the importance of finding that magical setting and how challenging the process can be.

I sat by the phone waiting for Nicole’s call on the evening Nick was to propose.  When it finally came and she announced her engagement, it seemed I was hearing of it for the first time.  Her voice was shaky and I wondered if she had been crying. Her excitement was infectious.  I can’t remember ever being so happy for her.   There is a difference the second time around though.  I am heading into this wedding a bit more confident and way more relaxed!  I want to enjoy these months of wedding planning with my daughter because it is a time in our lives we will never get back.  And in the end, I know her wedding day will be filled with the same excitement and energy she felt that night in Key West, Florida.

Welcome to the family Nick!

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