“Our Big Fat Italian Greek Wedding” articles are written by Beth Carnevale; a new kind of MOB helping Bridzalina ©moments happen and keeping Bridezilla moments at bay.

 Inspired by Nicolina Carnevale, Bride-to-Be

The bride’s dress had been ordered.  MOB had her dress. The next huge agenda was the venue.  We had to set the scene.  In today’s wedding world the venue becomes “The Event.” Nicolina grew up on historic White Cloud Farm, one of the oldest historic homes in “Maiden Head” as depicted in rare book, “Old Lawrenceville (Formerly Maidenhead, New Jersey) Early Houses and People” by Donald H. Tyler. It also was once a “World Class” Brown Swiss dairy farm in the 1960s holding many worlds’ records owned by the late Henry C. Woods, Jr., and most significantly, the home in the 1930s of Mrs. Harold Van Horn who rented it to Colonel Charles Lindbergh, wife Anne Morrow Lindbergh, and baby Charles.

The farm is now a “gentleman’s farm” where we raise sheep, goats, a horse, and chickens.  If we heard it once, we had heard it a hundred times, “this would be the perfect setting to hold a wedding.”  You have two daughters; I’m sure one of them will want to have their wedding here. Yes, my husband and I would nod our head.  It certainly would be dismissing the thought.

In researching venues, and trends, I was seeing that brides were branching out from the traditional locales and were paying top dollar to have weddings in just such settings. Nevertheless, I always trembled at the thought of having a couple hundred people traipsing through our house. The thought of bringing in tents, (what if it rained?), caterers, and a million other things to the site, not to even mention the septic tank, even with a wedding planner and a team of vendors, it would just be too much to cope with.  We had already had our share of parties, graduations, birthdays, field trips, and pool hoopla at the farm over the years. I wanted to be the hostess and a guest at our daughter’s wedding. I couldn’t dream of coordinating a wedding here.

So when we were face-to-face with the bride, we thought for sure she would want to have her wedding on the farm, close to her horse, the animals, the history, and of course amongst a tranquil, bucolic backdrop.  However, we were quite shocked when she said she really didn’t want the wedding on the farm.  She preferred her dream place.  We actually took a sigh of relief… and thought, dream place?  Since Nicolina was seven years old, she had it all figured out. We had her first Holy Communion party in the Palmer Room at the Nassau Inn.

History of the Nassau Inn

In researching the Inn, we found out this interesting piece of history….

On the north wall of the lobby, near the entrance to the dining room (Palmer Room), was a small maple frame enclosing the wedding ring of Grace Otis and Christopher Beekman, who was the first proprietor of the original Nassau Inn– called the College Inn during the American Revolution. Florence L. Hazlehurst of Spotswood, New Jersey a descendant of the Beekman family presented the ring to the Nassau Tavern.

The original Nassau Tavern at 52 Nassau Street was first built in 1756 by Judge Thomas Leonard, When he passed  away in 1769, Judge Leonard’s elegant town residence became a hostelry, called College Inn by its new owner. The first proprietor was Christopher Beekman, whose natural talent as an innkeeper soon established the Inn as the center of the town’s life. Honored guests such as Paul Revere, Robert Morris, and Thomas Paine had all stayed at the inn.

Signers of the Declaration of Independence, passing thorugh Princeton in 1776, rested at College Inn. (excerpt from The Nassau Inn website  http://www.nassauinn.com )

Back on that communion day in April, nineteen years ago, she had seen the big fireplace with the horse and carriage plaque over the mantel at the entrance to the Palmer Room. She exclaimed with hands on hips, this is where I’m going to have my wedding when I grow up. We had hardly thought about that statement until here she was engaged and saying, I knew that day that’s where I wanted my wedding to be.

The significance of the wedding ring at the entrance to the Palmer Room, Nicolina’s Communion party in the very Palmer Room, and the colonial fireplace with the coach and horse plaque over the hearth were all things that were again coming together in a way that we really weren’t controlling. Something was calling her back to have her wedding there. It was quite easy to see that the ambiance was very similar to our historic home that she grew up in.  Nicolina grew up and slept in the same room that the Charles Lindbergh baby slept in. Her closet still has the same wallpaper from the 1930’s which was a secret pass thru for the nurse to get to the baby in the night.  Nicolina always seemed proud that her room was the oldest part of the house and shared by such a famous historic figure.

The exact text from the rare aerial photo reads: Colonel Lindbergh’s new home in New Jersey an airplane view, of the Farm near Princeton which was rented a few weeks ago by Colonel and Mrs. Lindbergh, whose plane may be seen on the ground at the right they will live there until their new house has been built on the farm which they have bought between Princeton and Hopewell, credits: Aero Service Corp.

During this time, 1930-1932 Charles Lindbergh and Anne Morrow Lindbergh with the infamous “Baby Charles” rented and lived at White Cloud Farm while their house was being built at “Highfields” in Hopewell, New Jersey. It is well documented in “Hour of Gold, Hour of Lead.” In the novel of diaries and letters, Ann wrote about that special fireplace and their dog “Wahgoosh” running up and around up to Nicolina’s room (which would have been Charles Jr. back then). The fireplace is the key here; the hearth is a sense of warmth and comfort. I’m sure Nicolina felt reassured and calm next to the big colonial fireplace at the Nassau Inn trimmed and painted in the same colors as her own room and keeping room at home. So it was fitting that the same fireplace that comforted the Lindbergh’s also comforted Nicolina and she was getting that same sense of wistfulness  with the  fireplace and setting  at the historic Nassau Inn which she had amazingly kept in  mind for her wedding all these years.

Nicolina had picked the date June 23, 2012. That was no surprise; doesn’t every girl dream of being a June bride? She had the date cleared with the Monsignor; the church was free, and had been reserved on the church calendar. Hey, this was going to be easy. We had heard horror stories of girls trying to get their dates and venues to coincide.  Next, Nicolina called her venue and gave the date of the wedding ceremony. No problem, we thought. This was only 2010 and 2012 well; we figured we had plenty of time. Nicolina called her wedding planner. The planner had the date free but said you really don’t need to do anything now. It was way too early for her to get involved. Okay we were breezing right along. The planner said she was doing another event at the Nassau Inn that very weekend, why don’t you stop in, say hello, and I can meet you. Nicolina went at the specified time and ran into the venue coordinator. Nicolina explained to the coordinator that she was looking into the venue for her wedding and gave the date. No problem that should be great! Give me a call and we can set it up. The venue coordinator couldn’t have been more accommodating and helpful. We were in great shape cruising along thinking; we have all the time in the world.

A week goes by; Nicolina calls to inquire about the procedure to book the venue. I see her talking away cheerfully on the phone very animated with excitement and then I see it, she stops talking mid sentence, her face drops and I’m trying to read what the person at the other end of the line could possibly be saying. “What do you mean?” I hear Nicolina ask.  “Okay then” and she hangs up.

Episode One of Bridezilla starring Nicolina now playing. Tears of frustration, she’s not talking, what happened? Then it comes out, melting lava of the burning words, “The Nassau Inn ballroom is to be closed for the whole year of 2012!” They are renovating the ballroom. I can’t have my wedding there!” This can’t be happening, I think in disbelief. Springing into action, MOB swoops down, well we will just have to try another place. In jumbled sentences Nicolina explains, the only way I could have it there was to change my wedding date to 2011. She gave me two dates in August and two in September. Hyperventilating, in need of life support, I’m thinking we just ordered the dress; will it be done in time? How can I possibly pull a formal wedding together in less than a year?

 I believe I stopped breathing at that point. This was supposed to be a long engagement, have the parents over from Greece, families getting to know each other, and PLENTY of time for wedding planning.  I took a deep breath and counted, it was August, and a little less than a year, all right we can do this. This meant calling the church again and giving them the new dates. Nicolina immediately called the church; she was informed that the Monsignor only had two dates available and that the secretary would get back.

In the meantime, I had to keep things from spiraling out of control.  I called another venue with a similar feel but it would mean going to Pennsylvania and they had no rooms to accommodate overnight guests.   I told Nicolina we need to have a back-up plan; the Nassau Inn may not have any dates that would work for you for 2011. After all, I thought to myself not wanting to fuel the fire, she was supposed to have surgery in May, that didn’t really leave her much time.

We booked the appointment and we were ready to walk into the new venue, when Nicolina’s phone rang. It was the church secretary; if you can do August 20, 2011, we have an opening. Panic mode, we were ready to walk into a presentation at a new venue, they would require a down payment, and we hadn’t really seen the particulars or prices for Nassau Inn yet.  We were kind of flying blind, we went ahead in and Nicolina clung to her cell phone as a lifeline, barely afloat in the parking lot willing her phone to ring back.  Half way through the presentation, she came into the meeting and the beaming smile on her face said it all. We knew she had secured her venue and now we were looking at a wedding in less than 11 months. We sat thru the remaining presentation feigning interest. Hardly able to contain ourselves, we raced out to the parking lot and cheered.  Again we didn’t know prices or any particulars but somehow someone up above had put it all together, Nicolina wanted the Nassau Inn for her reception and she was going to have the Nassau Inn for her reception. We went from more than two years to a little more than ten months.  This is how the countdown to “Our Big Fat Italian Greek Wedding” was born.  I had to make everyday count and by counting down I could see what was getting done and feel like we were accomplishing something on a daily basis.

There was that wonderful magic feeling again, like a cool breath of air being pushed back into our lungs reviving our spirits. Our bride was going to have her ballroom wedding in the town where she grew up and the fantastic memories that she had clung onto all these years. It was all coming true. The enchanted wedding was living up to its name. The unexplained was once again. She came home called the venue back and we set up the appointment. Our Princeton girl was going to have her Princeton wedding. The door that came shattering closed, well God opened another window for Nicolina. We didn’t have to say anything “it was understood.”