Every mother dreams of the day her daughter gets engaged. How about finding out within 4 months time BOTH your daughters are engaged!  I wanted to stand on top of a mountain; however there are no mountains in NJ, and shout to the world, “My daughters are engaged!”  Of course, they both have had major accomplishments in education and careers; one daughter is a teacher and the other is a lawyer. Yet somehow having your daughters engaged is like no other feeling in the world.  This is “Breaking News.”  Something stirs within your heart and soul and you want to share this feeling with everyone you meet and know.

After the mist cleared from my eyes, I realized I would never get this time back. I wanted to be there for my daughters in a way I had never been before. They were both pretty fresh out of grad school and law school. They were use to being on their own. They didn’t really need me did they? In fact, I soon found out, boy did they need me.  I was no more just a mother to her little girls I was a mother to her brides to be. I was to become a hunter, gatherer, protector, and supporter of everything wedding. Their days had to be special, spectacular and their own!

A short background on how a new kind of mother of the bride emerged. Shortly after my youngest daughter Nicolina got engaged, we found out she had to have major surgery. She’s a teacher and this news came at the end of August right when she would be starting back for the fall term. She decided, “I want to wait until after my teaching for the 2010-2011 school year and have my surgery in May and be ready to walk down the aisle in August.”  The Dr. said “No Stress,” to Nicolina.

Well how do you tell any bride not to be stressed? I said don’t worry Nicolina I’ll take the stress for you.  Thus, the planner, protector came out in me.  As we drove home from the hospital, the wheels starting turning, I knew I had to have a game plan. I would be her protector, guarding her from stress and potentially unruly shopkeepers, vendors or anything that could jeopardize her wellbeing.  I would be her eyes, her ears, her personal secretary, her designer, her stylist, whatever it would take to keep her happy, unstressed and most importantly healthy until May.

Nicolina, I guess already knew the type of wedding she was dreaming of. She was deep in thought as well on that long car ride back from Philadelphia. After a long silence, she said matter-of-factly, “Mom we need a wedding planner.” Neither her father nor I questioned it. There was a stillness and calmness that no words needed to be said, we all knew yes, it was agreed.

I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, weddings never are.  I will be sharing thoughts, finds, favorites and tips along the way. I’ll be a new kind of “mother of the bride,” hereinafter known as MOB. I wanted to be strong and protecting yet gentle and have fun with my daughters along their blissful journey. I wanted “Bridzalina” moments which were bound to happen, and just hoping that “Bridezilla” moments were kept at bay.

 I began by keeping track of what I was doing. So I started lists, then I knew I wanted to make each day count, so I started a countdown at 351days ‘till Our Big Fat Italian Greek Wedding.  This way I could visually see myself getting things done everyday instead of stressing “Oh there are only 351 days ‘till the wedding.” But each day something new presented itself. I hope you find our journeys  inspiring because there’s very little out there for us MOB’s and once this wedding is over I’ll still have another!, Yes,  I’ll let you know how I deal with that in a future installment.

Next time: Time to bring out the heavy artillery. Combing websites magazines and more!

“Our Big Fat Italian Greek Wedding” articles are written by Beth Carnevale; a new kind of MOB helping Bridzalina ©moments happen and keeping Bridezilla moments at bay.

 Inspired by Nicolina Carnevale, Bride-to-Be

Photo Credits:Nicolina Carnevale & Stavros Papafilipakis Engagement Photo Shoot, courtesy of the Artist Group Blog
CREDITS: Photography By: Matthew Andrews