My son will be married in a few short weeks and I will have my turn to experience that special moment. I appreciate, however, that with this reward comes a responsibility.

I have been meticulous about choosing my dress for this day.  I would like it to be special and yet it must be comfortable.  Wedding photos will be my reminder of how well I accomplished my goal.

The message in the song that Matt and I dance to must also be special… and it must fit as well.  I understand that Mother – Son relationships are unique for everyone. The meaning of a melody that may be right on for one relationship, may simply not work for another.   I want the song that we share to be evergreen. Like the wedding photos, I wish for our song to take me back to who we were at that moment in time.

I want to thank the members of the Mother of the Bride Group on FB who helped me find just that right song.  I enjoyed listening to every one of your suggestions, wondering how often the Mother of the Groom cries.

It won’t be long until I will be escorted to the dance floor looking up (way up) into the eyes of our son who has brought us only pride and joy. I can not wait until he hears the words I have chosen for our dance; a song by Mark Harris ~ “Find Your Wings.” I know I will cry.

The wedding guest list is one of the most important tasks on any Bride’s to do list. In fact, I am a firm believer that it should be number one. The number of guests attending a wedding has an enormous impact on the cost of the wedding as well as a major influence on the style and feeling of the day itself.

Unfortunately, creating the guest list is often the first area of conflict between a Bride and her parents. The Bride and Groom will have close friends they have made through the years, who they will want to be with them to celebrate their special day. The Bride’s parents, who more often than not are helping to pay for the special day, will of course, have their own guest list in mind. When trying to work within a budget, whose list takes priority?

While helping Kate with her wedding, I did what I always do on a project. I started with the goal of the project in mind and backed into the planning that would help me achieve that goal. My goal was to have the happiest Bride and Groom possible. My goal was to have Kate hug me at the end of the day and say, “My wedding day rocked!”

Because, in the end, after so much time spent planning the wedding, and the cost of putting on the wedding, if the Bride is not happy, was any of the effort worth it? Was winning the battle worth losing the war?

I have some thoughts that I will be sharing on the importance of your wedding guest list and how the numbers effect the reception day.

Not My Mother’s Wedding is the humorous and informative wedding story of a Bride and her Mother and has been energetically reviewed by The Polka Dot Bride and the Hartford Magazine as a must read.

Take advantage of Holiday Pricing of  only $12.95 for this beautiful hardcover gift book.

We wish you all the best,  Maureen & Kate

http://notmymotherswedding.com/buy-book/

I realize that I may have glossed over some of the circumstances surrounding Quinn’s wedding. Some of the issues we faced were personal, so I hope by my eliminating them or not going into detail about them is understandable. Some things don’t need to be talked about other than to say they did have some influence on the overall event.

As far as the deposit for the canceled beach wedding in their original plans , Quinn and Graham actually got to use the venue for their Honeymoon! We decided that we’d give it to them as a gift, so even tho they gave up the beach wedding, they still got to enjoy the sun and surf and hotel for a week afterwards.

As far as the Ebay wedding went, I believe it was serendipity. What are the odds of something like that showing up in an area not far from us, and having no one else bid against me? I won with their opening bid (and I’m sure they were hoping it would go for MUCH more), but that was the risk they took in listing it as they did. I was told they were going to use it as some kind of promotional thing for the Hotel (but nothing ever happened with it), and some people were secretly making fun of it beforehand (we later found out). I guess they expected it to be of lower quality or something, so I think they were pretty shocked at how elegant it actually was. Yay for us!! I love proving people wrong!

Another thing I forgot to mention was that if you’re smart, you won’t take on any major home improvement projects while planning a wedding. With Quinn’s wedding still hanging in the balance, we hired someone to install new hardwood floors in our living and dining rooms as well as to add more substantial woodwork. Having dirt and sawdust everywhere does not make for a good environment when you have paper projects to complete. That meant that my kitchen, DR & LR were pretty much a filthy mess for a month or so as I was receiving all the packages for the replanned wedding. It will also explain some of my pictures showing my practice centerpieces in my LR!

People choose their wedding dates for many different reasons, and most of them have signifigance to the couple. Many times the ideal date isn’t available for other family members due to work, travel or previously scheduled commitments, and it can become difficult to find one that works for everyone.  The weather can also have a pretty big impact when picking a date, especially if you’re depending on clear skies for an outdoor event. Try and keep track (and check the Farmer’s Almanac for prior years on you date) to see how the landscape may be affected too. We were told that the hotel’s garden area would be in full bloom for her wedding, but with a lower than normal rainy season that year, the inground flowers were skimpy. I would have made arrangements to have more florals delivered to fill it in had I even considered how sparse it would be.

If you’re having children in your wedding parties, remember they may not always act as expected. Our flower girl had turned two just weeks before, and while she’s a very mature little girl for her age, her stubborn side reared its head right before she had to walk down the aisle. She shed a few tears and did manage to make it all the way, but became easily distracted by the adjacent pond. She decided she had to explore it while the ceremony was taking place, so that’s why I included a picture of her walking off to the side!  Children can steal the show and she stayed up dancing until 11pm, but if the ones you’re including aren’t very predictable, make sure you have arrangements for them to be taken to bed early or provide a sitter and entertainment for any little ones needing to exit the party.

Our beautification process was pretty involved, but it helped that the hairstylist and makeup artist were friends and guests that were there all night. Quinn’s extensions flopped in the heat and humidity, and it was fabulous that her hair was able to be re-done for the rest of the night.

A few months prior, I also decided to see how I could improve on my appearance because I always looked so tired. I’d always decided I’d embrace my wrinkles when I started to age, but changed my mind when the thought that a photographer would be in my face for so many hours. I had Botox injected in my forehead, between my eyes, as well as my crow’s feet, and Juvederm fillers in my upper lip and smile lines. My girls were so excited to see the results and told me I looked 15 years younger, so it was a GOOD thing, in my estimation. If any are considering it, you need to do it at least six weeks before in case of any adverse reactions, swelling or bruising. I had some, but within two weeks it was gone, and the procedures just made me look ‘fresher’ and not ‘plastic’.  I highly recommend!!

I lost my Mom in 2004, and we all really missed her presence that day. To keep her close to the bride, we wrapped one of her crystal necklaces around the handle of her bouquet. It was comforting to my daughter to feel my Mom with her, and to know how happy she would have been. I also carried a small bouquet of three long stemmed white roses that I placed on the seat where she would have been sitting.

When I attempt to re-live the wedding in my mind, it becomes like a movie on fast-forward. As each part of it was happening, it was almost dream like, or not REAL. It’s so hard to describe the feeling you have as each step takes place and everything moves along as it should. Weddings happen every minute of every day somewhere in this world, but when it’s happening in your own part of the universe, time stands still. I had a rush of memories of my little girl and wondered who was that WOMAN donning her wedding gown? How did this happen? It was just a minute ago that she was pushing her babydolls in their carriage and stopping to adjust their blankets.

Since every wedding and every story is so different, I hope I’ve given you some insight into ours, and that you’ve enjoyed reading about our experience. Life is full of chapters, and I can’t wait for the next one in her life!

Amanda met her future husband Ian during their first week of Freshman year at Baylor University in Waco, Texas.  During the summer between their Junior and Senior year, Ian proposed to Amanda, and a year of wedding planning started soon after.

They opted to have the wedding festivities in their college town, which happened to be about halfway between their two Texas hometowns, and also ensured that many of their college friends would be able to attend.  Ian and Amanda wanted a traditional church wedding and a formal reception with a plated meal at a nice venue.  Because Central Texas weather in mid-May can be warm and stormy, they ruled out an outdoor venue.

The church choice was obvious, since Amanda and Ian were active in the college ministry at a church in Woodway (a suburb of Waco). Because Amanda wanted dancing at the reception, we knew it would have to be in another location.  After researching Waco’s indoor reception venue options, and finding that not many would hold the 150 to 200 guests that were anticipated, we booked the Ballroom of the Waco Hilton Hotel.

On May 21, 2011, exactly one week following Amanda’s graduation from Baylor, the couple was united in marriage.  The ceremony and reception décor reflected the light blue and ivory color theme chosen by the bride.  Blue hydrangeas, accented by lilies and white roses were featured in the bouquets and floral décor.  The couple opted for cupcakes instead of a traditional wedding cake, and cake balls instead of the traditional Southern groom’s cake.  The reception also featured an ice cream sundae bar, a DJ, and dancing, as the bride had hoped for!

My heart breaks for all the brides planning an East Coast wedding this weekend.  I am confident I can say you are in the thoughts and hearts of all readers of  The MOB Blog.

When my daughter became engaged & we began all of the wedding planning she knew that she wanted to have a candy buffet. Not only did we feel this would serve as a great gift for our guests but a fancy candy buffet would also function as a beautiful decoration at the reception.

We loved the idea of creating a Christmas theme candy buffet and went straight to work creating the buffet of her dreams! The colors she chose for her wedding were red, black & silver. She insisted that all of the candy we purchased had to be in these colors in order to make it to the buffet! We also knew we wanted a variety of containers to not only hold the candy but also be able to showcase the candy. We began purchasing containers everywhere from antique stores, yard sales to dollar stores. When purchasing your containers there is no need to spend a huge amount of money on apothecary jars. They are very fragile & you really do not need the lids. Trust me that is just something that you will worry about being broken!

Another lesson I learned while preparing for the buffet was that all the jars do not need to be exactly alike! The differences in sizes & shapes help to showcase the candy & make it stand out, giving it a “wow” factor. We also found after studying many candy displays that it was important to display your jars at different heights & levels to make it appealing to the eye & more interesting. This can be done by using any item that you choose to hide underneath the candy buffet covering. We used simple wooden boxes that my niece had used at her wedding candy buffet. I have seen books, bricks & even milk crates used for this purpose. It is also important that the jars you choose have openings large enough for the guests to remove the candy from. Make sure that each jar also has scoops or tongs to retrieve the candy.

Another idea to help your candy buffet stand out is to add your own personal touches. We used a simple white tablecloth to cover the tables and then added additional white cloths bunched up to hide the boxes & also to give it some texture. We also added a simple black ribbon to each jar, scoop & tong. Another personal touch we added was in the tags that we placed on each item. With it being a Christmas wedding, we knew we wanted an idea to go along with this theme but for it to remain classy & elegant. I personally wanted it to be cheap! Lol…..After purchasing all of the containers & candy my budget for this project was shot! I was able to purchase soft snowflake ornaments from the dollar tree at 8 for $1. I then printed the name of the candy in a cutesy font on my own home computer & glued the name of the candy to a piece of red cardstock. This gave us a personal tag that was cheap to make!

We also wanted the candy buffet gift bags to be personalized. We bought inexpensive white coffee tin bags & added a creative stamp that my daughter & son in law came up with. We then displayed the bags in 2 silver sleighs that fit our theme perfectly. We spruced up the table by adding red & silver ornaments along with fake snow & clear lights. We also hung 4 or 5 tissue paper snowflakes along with crystal garland that was draped from the ceiling. We then surrounded the buffet with glimmering crystal trees. These gave off enough light but also helped to keep with the magical atmosphere. No matter what season you have a candy buffet, the important thing to remember is to find a way to add your own personal touch!

When you start to look around for photographers make sure you know what you are getting and that you are comparing prices accurately. I am a huge fan of “happily ever after” and don’t want any bride to cry over her choice of photographer.

Some photographers offer “packages” of assorted photo sizes and set numbers of each. One photographer I know offers 3 8X10’s in a frame for Parents. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t want 3 photos in a frame. I prefer to have them in different rooms. Could I buy the photos individually? Sure, for a huge mark-up. Most people don’t want these packages, they prefer to buy what they want and need. These photographers will give you packages to choose from, but rarely will they fill your needs.

Some photographers will share copyright with you and give you all the images on a disc. Make sure they will at least do some correction on them (straightening, cropping, etc.). The disc is useless if you don’t know how to do this yourself. I generally offer to do fine tuning on their top 24 choices. Many photographers offer this as their only service. In other words you get what you want printed where ever you want. A word of caution here however; places that print in one hour (discount stores) don’t maintain their printers like a professional place would. I use a place called The Photo Place (http://photoplaceonline.com/about-thephotoplace.html).You can order your prints for what I pay, they will mail them to you and they will look fabulous! Tell them I sent you. Expect to pay a little more for the disc if you want it as an add-on to your package. After all, the photographer won’t make money if he gives you the disc.

Ask how many photographers will cover your wedding. Ask for it in writing. I charge less for smaller weddings where I may only bring an assistant. I charge more for larger weddings where I pay for another photographer to work with me. If they say their assistant will be there, make sure you ask what they will be doing. I have one assistant who carries my stuff, and another who shoots along side of me duplicating (pretty much) what I do. A second photographer will be just that: a whole other perspective on your images and a different style. I tend to shoot soft and romantic. My partner likes edgier stuff. Together we make fabulous images to choose from!

Albums… are you going to leave this on your coffee table forever and ever? Chances are not. Why in heaven’s name would you spend thousands for an Italian made album? Ask older brides where their albums are before you make this decision. Personally, I don’t care for fancy albums. Besides, I have a hard time choosing what images I want. I prefer all the images set to music of my choice in a DVD format. When I feel misty I pop in the DVD I made for our daughter and relive the entire day!

Beware of photographers who advertise a low price to “cover your entire wedding day”. They usually are counting on you buying packages or photos down the road at inflated prices. Just make sure you are comparing apples to apples and that you know exactly what you are getting.

My Brides-to-Be ~ Tracy and Nicole

Sibling’s weekend was a huge success, however going forward it looks like the name will change to Sibling’s Week!  The weather was beautiful.  The highlight was our annual New England Lobster Bake and dancing on the porch Saturday night.  Oh…and need I mention we talked wedding?

More pictures to follow…

You can read more by Janet on her blog: My First Daughter’s Wedding

The subject of linens was something way out of my field of expertise as a Mother of the Bride helping my daughter plan her wedding.  We had booked the reception in a ballroom at a fairly large hotel, and one of the reasons we chose the location was that we thought that it would simplify the planning process. The venue was already pretty enough and the furniture and the linens would be supplied by the hotel.  All we had to worry about were the flowers and décor.

Early in the planning process we were able to visit our venue when it was set up for a wedding.  We noticed that it did look a bit bland and “corporate” with the monochrome ivory linens, but figured we would just punch up the decor with our centerpieces. But then, a few weeks prior to hers, my daughter attended another wedding and she noticed that they had some specialized linens (some filmy colored overlays on the guest tables) which she really liked.  She began asking if there was a little wiggle room in the budget for something more colorful to add on to our linens.

I did a little web research myself, even visited a rental company to get ideas and pricing, then weighed the options. I concluded that it is often less expensive to buy the items outright from one of the many on-line wedding linen stores, than it is to rent them.  This is because the rental companies will logically pass on their costs for storage, delivery, and cleaning to the customer resulting in higher per-item prices. If you can find offers of reduced or free shipping charges, buying becomes even more attractive.  For the truly budget conscious, there is also the option of buying used linens online.

Besides being the less expensive option, buying new linens may make the most sense:

• If you are of the E-Bay generation and have experience with selling things online.  This is a big plus – you can recover some of your cash outlay by re-selling the linens after the wedding.
• If you are looking for a highly specialized type of fabric or color not available from your venue or from local rentals, or if you simply do not want any worn material or leftover stains to be visible.
• If the venue is nearby to your home and the linens can be easily transported, or could be easily shipped directly to the venue.
• If the venue agrees to set up the linens for you for free or at a minimal cost, or if you have plenty of friends or family to help.  Same with the take-down after the wedding.
• If you don’t mind laundering the dirty linen, or don’t mind paying for it to be laundered. (This is probably the biggest hidden cost in buying your linen.)
• If you or the newlyweds could use some of the linens in your homes after the wedding, or if you could pass them on to friends or family for another upcoming wedding.  (Or you could donate them to charity!)

But renting has its advantages, too:

• Convenience–this is where the added cost has its pay-off!   You don’t have to worry about transporting, cleaning, storing, or selling after the wedding.
• Works especially well if you would like something other than standard white or ivory supplied by the venue, but are not picky about fabric or appearance. However, most rental companies now offer a wide variety of fabrics and colors, and are careful not to re-use horribly stained or worn items.  (Besides, with the lower lighting in most venues, who notices?)
• If your venue or wedding coordinator has a good relationship with the rental company, you may be able to get better pricing.  And if you have a large order from the rental company they may cut you a package deal.

In our case, we decided it would make more sense to rent.  The venue was a three hour drive from my hometown, and personally, I was not in the slightest way interested in hauling the linens to and from home, or having to deal with them before or after the wedding.

As it turned out, our wedding coordinator came to the rescue. She has an ongoing relationship with one of the event rental companies in the town where my daughter was married, and she was able to get things all set up for us at a fairly reasonable cost.  We rented pretty cornflower blue overlay cloths for the guest tables, using the ivory base tablecloths and napkins that the hotel provided.  We also ended up renting a few pieces of furniture and coordinating linens for the pre-function area and a dance floor from the same rental company. (It turned out that surprisingly, the hotel ballroom did not come with a dance floor nor would the hotel supply one.)  It did add to our bottom line, but being able to fulfill my daughter’s wishes, and adding to the memories and enjoyment of the family, bridal party and guests (not to mention the convenience of renting) was worth it to me.

In afterthought…if it were totally up to me, I think I would have been fine with staying with the plain white or ivory linens.  It would have looked more “Bridal!”